Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Welcome to Amerika

Greetings from Barack Hussein Obama's newly totalitarian state. Nowhere has the dictatorship of the proletariat been more enthusiastically embraced than here at Conchita's Unisex Beauty Palace, where we are celebrating Dear Leader's ascendance to the throne with an exercise in liberal fascism called "Annual Fire Drill." Personally, I think it's a bit premature to begin declaring national holidays in The One's honor, but Conchita reverted to The Left's historical revisionism and said that we've had it every year since I've been here, which strikes me as implausible.

"That's because you called in sick last year, were late the two years before that, and had some Kenyan witchdoctor write you a medical note saying you were possessed the one before that. Want to see it? It's in your personnel file." I've never seen Conchita so blunt before -- it's as if the Democrats' nominal victory had emboldened her to new lows of incivility. That's hardly the spirit of conciliation Barack Hussein was talking about -- or is it? Thank you, Conchita, for showing that "post-partisanship" is nothing more than empty election-year rhetoric.

Conchita is forcing me to serve as "stairwell monitor," an act of Stalinism every bit as oppressive as Obama's plans for world communism, mostly because I have to wear a vest that's safety orange. I have explained to Conchita that I am a spring, and that blaring summer tones overpower my soft and dewy skintone, regardless of how carefully I apply my makeup, but she's not hearing it. It's just as Sarah Palin prophesied: "And government kind of moving into the role as the other half of our family, making decisions for us. Now, they do this in other countries where the people are not free."

So, this is the "change" we've been waiting for. If the past nine days have been any indication of the injustice Conservatives in America will be forced to suffer under an Obama regime, it's going to be a long four years (unless some fat chick sucks Barack Hussein's chocolate dingus and he gets impeached -- here's hoping). I had been praying that the election would trigger the Rapture and I could wrap this whole blogging enterprise up, but truly my people need me, and, though weary and suffering Persecution myself, I will offer what succour I can to the Christians of America. Praise Him!

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3 Comments:

  • At November 14, 2008 4:41 AM, Blogger Lulu Maude said…

    At last,Sister Nancy Beth. I feared that you had performed the ultimate act of desperation (drinking a vial of Cover Girl) and left us.

    These are dark days, but with faith and a new color of nail polish, I know that you will soldier on.

    Praise Him!

     
  • At November 14, 2008 11:06 AM, Blogger Lulu Maude said…

    I do think that it would be wise to demand a more detailed release of Obama's medical records.

    Should he prove to have an undescended testicle like Adolf, Broun's arguments could hold additional resonance.

    Praise Him!

     
  • At November 18, 2008 12:32 PM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    i too am re invigorated - ! and relieved as well that you didn't despair completely or leave us for too long..ah you never left us - indeed we well many of us are just at our wits end - i mean yeah you woulda thought by now the rapture would have come and gone..but seems we are all still here.

    praise him ! and pass the Mascara this is culture war - and i too vow to soldier on - for all our just and solidly dogmatic reasons.

     

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