Welcome to Amerika

Greetings from Barack Hussein Obama's newly totalitarian state. Nowhere has the dictatorship of the proletariat been more enthusiastically embraced than here at Conchita's Unisex Beauty Palace, where we are celebrating Dear Leader's ascendance to the throne with an exercise in liberal fascism called "Annual Fire Drill." Personally, I think it's a bit premature to begin declaring national holidays in The One's honor, but Conchita reverted to The Left's historical revisionism and said that we've had it every year since I've been here, which strikes me as implausible.

"That's because you called in sick last year, were late the two years before that, and had some Kenyan witchdoctor write you a medical note saying you were possessed the one before that. Want to see it? It's in your personnel file." I've never seen Conchita so blunt before -- it's as if the Democrats' nominal victory had emboldened her to new lows of incivility. That's hardly the spirit of conciliation Barack Hussein was talking about -- or is it? Thank you, Conchita, for showing that "post-partisanship" is nothing more than empty election-year rhetoric.

Conchita is forcing me to serve as "stairwell monitor," an act of Stalinism every bit as oppressive as Obama's plans for world communism, mostly because I have to wear a vest that's safety orange. I have explained to Conchita that I am a spring, and that blaring summer tones overpower my soft and dewy skintone, regardless of how carefully I apply my makeup, but she's not hearing it. It's just as Sarah Palin prophesied: "And government kind of moving into the role as the other half of our family, making decisions for us. Now, they do this in other countries where the people are not free."

So, this is the "change" we've been waiting for. If the past nine days have been any indication of the injustice Conservatives in America will be forced to suffer under an Obama regime, it's going to be a long four years (unless some fat chick sucks Barack Hussein's chocolate dingus and he gets impeached -- here's hoping). I had been praying that the election would trigger the Rapture and I could wrap this whole blogging enterprise up, but truly my people need me, and, though weary and suffering Persecution myself, I will offer what succour I can to the Christians of America. Praise Him!