Gentlemen, stop your search engines

Read about it at American Street: How using Google turned me into a raving homosexual, and is probably doing the same to you. Praise Him!

Alms for the poor bankers

Like many of you, I'm aghast at the thought of the public checkbook being opened up to bail out those greedy swine who've brought Our Nation to the brink of economic collapse. 700 billion dollars could build upwards of 1700 bridges in Alaska, and as galling as it is that our Christian friends up north will probably have to do without these necessary updates to their infrastructure, what's more infuriating is that the saboteurs most responsible for precipitating this holocaust are walking away scot-free. I am referring, of course, to black people! My Prayer Warriors at World Net Daily explain:

While many pundits are pointing to corporate greed and a lack of government regulation as the cause for the American mortgage and financial crisis, some analysts are saying it wasn't too little government intervention that cased the mortgage meltdown, but too much, in the form of activists compelling the government to pressure Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae into unsound – though politically correct – lending practices. ...

In a nutshell, Liebowitz contends that the federal government over the last 20 years pushed the mortgage industry so hard to get minority homeownership up, that it undermined the country's financial foundation to achieve its goal.

As you are probably aware, minority communities have made out like bandits by gaming Our President's ownership society plan and are living the life of Riley. Meanwhile, vast swaths of the financial services sector are soon to join the sorrowful ranks of the second-homeless.

Indeed, the warning signs were there all along. Liberal media has long tried to suppress this story, but when former Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo would endorse his 121.5 million dollar paychecks, he would hastily write notes to the bank teller on the back: "Help! Black folks are making me do this -- tell the guard!" Similarly, IndyMac's Michael Perry was kidnapped by a band of angry black militants and imprisoned for two months in a closet in Watts, where he was repeatedly beaten and sexually assaulted. It was only when he began parroting their rhetoric of fraudulent valuations and undocumented Alt-A mortgages for Whitey that they released him to do their bidding, and we know how that turned out.

Patriots, it is a Moral imperative that any bailout punish those most culpable for this horrendous turn of events and spare the innocent. While the action proposed by Our President is consistent with these Values, the Democrat Party is once again trying to turn this into a giant welfare bill to benefit the poor & the needy. It's time to stand up in solidarity with our persecuted brethren in the investment banking industry and give them the funds they so clearly deserve. Praise Him!

Like John Bolton, but with a larger penis

I am referring, of course, to the news that my idol Sarah Palin will be pounding one of her snowshoes on a podium at the United Nations. Read my take on it over at American Street. Praise Him!

Sarahndepity

Hello, Christians. I'm Just checking in to sing the Praises of Sister Sarah Palin. Here's the latest on America's favorite Nice White Lady:

† Sarah threatens war with Russia - But only after her attempts to get them fired have failed.

† Sarah's town charged victims for rape kits - The social costs of violence against women are too high. Isn't it time that these women started paying for them themselves?

† Sarah understand what good governance means - Using elected office to further personal vendettas against friends & family members. Praise Him!

Que Sarah sera

Head over to American Street where I salute great American stateswoman Sarah Palin, whose daughters probably conceived several more grandchildren while I composed this entry. Praise Him!