Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Chile con horny

Like most Freedom-lovers, I view the rising brown tide from down south with a mixture of disdain and alarm. After all, if the illegals get their way, drivers licenses will be rendered just as useless as Traditional Marriage (that is, once their sisters-in-arms, radical homosexual activists, are done taking a sledgehammer to it), leading America even further down a doomed path of loose morals, desecrated national anthems, telenovelas, and bad driving. So you can imagine the shockwaves of fear and revulsion that the following item sent through me:
SANTIAGO, Chile - The government on Tuesday said it will resume its program to provide free "morning-after" contraceptives to girls as young as 14, but will also offer them advice by specialists.

The program started in September last year, but it was halted earlier this month when the Constitutional Court ruled it had been improperly implemented by administrative decree rather than by a presidential decree or legislation. ...

President Michelle Bachelet on Monday signed a new decree, which should be cleared by the General Comptroller's Office this week, allowing resumption of the program, according to Health Minister Soledad Barria.

She said that the government introduced a change in the program by appointing physicians and psychologists to offer free advice to girls requesting the pill.
Christians, I shudder for the fate of Our Nation. Among the many harmful side effects of the morning-after pill is that it leads to the formation of rampaging teenage sex cults. How soon do you think it will be until hordes of promiscuous teenagers, bringing little more than their perverted culture and voracious sexual appetites, infiltrate America's porous borders (thanks, Democrats!), apply for public assistance, and teach your child to lambada? I spent many a sleepless night in the 70's worrying about inexorable march of the killer bees, but I have to say this is even worse. Praise Him!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

The Happy Hooker goes to med school

It's not that we needed any further examples of the moral terrorism HillaryCare would unleash upon Our Nation, but just take a look at what's happening in England. What The Left doesn't want you to know about universal healthcare is that it's turning the former royal seat of Virtue into a nation of whoremongers:
22-year-old Nick Wallis, who has muscular dystrophy, had hoped to experience sex before he died. After telling staff at the Douglas House hospice in Oxford of his wish, they decided to help him, reported London's Daily Telegraph. ...

"I found an advert from a sex worker in a magazine for the disabled," Wallis said. "The initial contact was by email and then by phone." ...

"It was a decision two years in the making and I discussed it with my carers and my parents. Telling my mother and father was the hardest part, but in the end they gave me their support," Wallis told the Telegraph.

The hospice staff consulted a solicitor, clergy, and health care professionals before agreeing to assist Wallis.
This is Outrageous! A nation that provides basic healthcare to all its citizens is one so morally blinded that it can't tell right from wrong. I can only wonder if the state also helped procure some meth, since that seems to be an intrinsic part of these sorts of transactions.

As if this perverted liaison could even be more offensive, it was conducted under the auspices of the clergy:
Sister Frances, the founder of the hospice, described Wallis as "delightful, intelligent and aware young man."

"I know that some people will say 'You are a Christian foundation. What are you thinking about?' But we are here for all faiths and none," she said.

"It is not our job to make moral decisions for our guests. We came to the conclusion that it was our duty of care to support Nick emotionally and to help ensure his physical safety."
As this incident clearly demonstrates, socialized medicine is another weapon liberals are using to defang religous opposition to their perverted agenda of gay marriage, medical marijuana, and estate tax increases. The next time Barack Hussein Obama begins flapping his gums about some bold new policy initiative wherein everybody has access to medical care, ask him how many hookers it includes, and watch him spin. Praise Him!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Why I can't get enough Dick

Christians, I must make a tearful confession: MSM's relentless negativity about Iraq has worn away some of my certainty about our imminent victory against Islezbofascism in the Middle East. I'm not alone in this regard, as even Our President has been duped into thinking mistakes were made in his Glorious campaign to bring Iraq's debased petroleum reserves to Christ. Fortunately for Freedom, CNN -- in between the usual segments in which their anchors joyously announce, "Another 3 Americans killed in Iraq. Allahu Akbar!" -- gave Dick Cheney the opportunity to set the record straight in an interview I found more refreshing than a spritz of my feminine deodorant spray:
Vice President Dick Cheney on Wednesday dismissed as "hogwash" the suggestion that blunders may have hurt the administration's credibility on Iraq.

In an interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer, conducted a day after Bush delivered his State of the Union address, Cheney was asked to respond to some Republicans in Congress who "are now seriously questioning your credibility, because of the blunders and the failures."

To that, Cheney answered, "Wolf, Wolf, I simply don't accept the premise of your question. I just think it's hogwash." ...

"It won't stop us," he said. "And it would be, I think, detrimental from the standpoint of the troops."

If U.S. forces were to pull out of Iraq, "we would simply validate the terrorists' strategy that says the Americans will not stay to complete the task ... that we don't have the stomach for the fight. That's the biggest threat."
Right on! I've had eerily similar conversations with those liberals at Bank of "America." My experience indicates that Standing Tall is the only way to deal with the Enemies of Freedom:
Them: Mrs. Eczema, our records indicate that your checking account is once again overdrawn, this time in the amount of $128.74. Do you anticipate correcting this deficiency soon?

Me: I don't accept the premise of your question.

Them: On the 14th of this month, a check in the amount of $436.12 made payable to Mary Kay Cosmetics was posted to your account, leaving you with a negative balance of $128.74. According to the terms and conditions of your service agreement, you risk having your account suspended unless you maintain a sufficient balance.

Me: You're sending a very encouraging message to the terrorists in Iraq. I hope you realize that this conversation is being recorded, and most assuredly not for quality control purposes. Go back to North Korea, you treasonous bitch.

Them: Let me patch in my supervisor.
Our man Dick also reminds us of the dire repercussions of keeping Saddam in power:
Had Hussein been allowed to remain at the helm of Iraq, "he would, at this point, be engaged in a nuclear arms race with [Iranian President Mahmoud] Ahmadinejad, his blood enemy next door in Iran."
Let me put this in terms even the foulest smelling flower child can understand: A nuclear Iraq would be an environmental nightmare of unimaginable proportions, as literally thousands of rose bushes would be uprooted overnight, not only resulting in the proliferation of WMD, but also precluding the possibility of any sort of New Years Day floats, and ensuring that any showering of rice and rose petals that greet our troops would be missing their most essential component. Liberals, you've done enough to hinder progress in Iraq. Isn't it time to let Freedom ring? Praise Him!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Adventures in babykilling

The Left unveils their latest birth control patch.

When posed with the age-old question, Would liberals prefer women fornicate with impunity, or exercise their Constitutional right to murder their unborn children?, I answered with the certainty of a housewife in one of those old Stovetop Stuffing commercials: "Abortion. The Left definitely wants every woman in America to have a late-term partial birth abortion." Shockingly, I was just as wrong. In the old less filling/tastes great debate reproductive rights advocates have been having amongst themselves for years, the consensus, at least momentarily, falls on the side of less uterine filling:
The government is considering setting higher standards for birth control drugs used by millions, saying that newer pills appear to be less effective at preventing pregnancy than those approved decades ago.

The Food and Drug Administration will ask a panel of experts Tuesday and Wednesday whether it should require new contraceptive drugs to meet a standard of effectiveness before they are approved for the market. ...

Government scientists are in disagreement over whether there should be a strict limit on the failure rate a drug can have and still be approved. And they are looking at requiring manufacturers to include a more representative mix of women in the clinical trials for their new products.

Companies often exclude women who smoke, are overweight or have a history of heart problems from their trials. The FDA says this makes it difficult for scientists to judge the safety and efficacy of the drugs in the real world.

Heather Boonstra, a policy analyst for Guttmacher Institute, said the FDA is likely holding its meeting now to stay abreast of a number of innovative contraceptive products that are now in development.

One such product is Wyeth Pharmaceuticals' Lybrel [Why not just call it Liberal and be done with this charade - SNBE], which is designed to be the first birth control pill for continuous use, 365 days a year. The drug is pending approval in the U.S. and in Europe. A Wyeth representative said the company would attend the meeting but did not plan to make a presentation.

Other recent innovative products have proved problematic for the agency. In September, for example, the FDA warned women that Johnson & Johnson's birth control patch Ortho Evra could raise their chances of developing blood clots in the legs and lungs. Johnson & Johnson markets a number of traditional contraceptives, including its top-selling birth control pill, Ortho Tri-Cyclen.
Where is the Outrage? Either way, Our Nation's chastity loses. But what's even more infuriating is that regulatory overreach this egregious is allowed to happen in a so-called "free country" at all. As any Freedom-lover can tell you, the FDA has no business impeding the flow of presumably safe drugs into the marketplace -- those resources would be better spent browbeating these little floozies into getting married. Praise Him!

Monday, January 22, 2007

Do great minds think alike, or what?

You know you're making inroads in the world of conservative punditry when your fellow Prayer Warriors start ripping you off! Please note the title of this blog entry, and then check out the title of this commentary by Ted Baehr. Awesome, isn't it? It's probably just a matter of time before Ben Domenech and Ann Coulter stop by to borrow a stick of margarine and two paragraphs of commentary. Praise Him!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Catch of the day

Does the hypocrisy of The Left know no bounds? As I have pointed out here before, liberals rank sex-change operations right up there with early childhood immunizations and Sesame Street as necessities for raising healthy, well-adapted children. How surprising it is that we can now add transsexualism to the growing list of things they were for before they were against:
Several chemicals, including one banned in the United States, have been found in the Potomac River and its tributaries, where pollution is suspected of causing some species of male fish to develop female sexual traits, scientists said.

Water samples taken at eight sites in West Virginia and blood plasma from small-mouth bass were analyzed as part of an investigation into the increase of so called "intersex fish" in which males produce immature eggs in their testes, the U.S. Geological Survey said.

A study released Wednesday said pesticides, flame retardants, personal-care products and a banned fungicide were identified in the water or the fish. ...

Potential sources of contamination include wastewater treatment plants, runoff from agricultural activities and industrial wastewater, the report said.
It's hard to determine what caused this change of heart. It's possible that seeing their agenda of gender fluidity coming to fruition brought them to their all too scarce senses, and they wanted to avoid the possibility of Eddie Murphy sniffing around their own koi ponds and aquariums. More likely, though, is that this presents another cudgel with which The Left can opportunistically bash glamour-enhancing personal care products and Our President's environmental policy; their commitment to trannie rights is little more than ballast to be conveniently jettisoned when the time is right. President Bush once remarked sagely that the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully -- apparently the moonbats have other ideas. Praise Him!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Welcome to the jungle

The next time some liberal starts mewling about those precious rainforests and the vital biodiversity contained therein, be sure to point out what they really are: havens for juvenile delinquency! [My emphasis]
A Cambodian woman who went missing in the jungle for 18 years before being found last week is struggling to adapt to life as a human and wants to return to the forest, police said on Friday. ...

The girl, called Ro Cham H'pnhieng, went missing as an eight-year-old along with her cousin when they were sent to tend cows near the border with Vietnam.

Villagers believed they had been eaten by wild animals until a girl was caught last week by a logging team as she was trying to steal some food they had left under a tree.
As if it hadn't been made abundantly clear by other acts of eco-terrorism, The Left has given us yet another stark example of how environmentalism and criminality walk hand in hand.

Not surprisingly, this woman's radical leftist beliefs have also led her to reject the Traditional Family:
After 18 years in the wilderness, police said she was able to say only three words: father, mother and stomach ache.
Allow me to translate: "The entire structure upon which Western Civilization is based makes me sick, and all that time in the forest has made me totally lezzie. Impeach Bush!" Thank you, MSM, for once again soft-pedaling the inflammatory rhetoric of violent extremists.

Perhaps the most Outrageous aspect of this whole ordeal is their curious method of integrating her back into society:
Villagers from the Phnong ethnic hilltribe minority believe the girl is still possessed by evil spirits of the forest. They have brought in Buddhist monks to bless her and set up a round-the-clock watch on the family hut.
For Heaven's sake, people, this woman has been living in the jungle without any styling products for 18 years. Don't you think she could benefit from a makeover, or at least some conditioner? I don't suppose Maybelline's market penetration extends into the hinterlands of Cambodia, but at the very least, they could help her out with some of those gray-market cosmetics I see at the 99 Cent Store. I thought Kissinger had bombed some sense into these people, but evidently not. Anyway, this whole incident amply demonstrates the threat rainforests pose to Freedom, and why they should be sprayed with exfoliants and developed into golf courses and luxury resorts. Praise Him!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Left: Spinning lies, as usual

Perhaps the last moral bulwark separating Our Nation's Virtue from the ravages of those murderous Islezbofascist terrorists is the prohibition against growing Mary Jane's deadliest cousin, industrial hemp. The drug-enthusiast wing of the Democratic Party (approximately 85% of them!) points to its high nutritional value and myriad other applications as rationale for legalizing it. So convincing is their propaganda that they've even managed to ensnare a Republican, legislator David Monson, in their web of satanic trickery:
State legislator David Monson began pushing the idea of growing industrial hemp in the United States a decade ago. Now his goal may be within reach _ but first he needs to be fingerprinted.

Monson turned in an application Monday to the state Agriculture Department to become the nation's first licensed industrial hemp farmer. State Agriculture Commissioner Roger Johnson said Monson provided fingerprints with his application, which will be used for a background check to prove he is not a criminal. ...

Last month, the state Agriculture Department finished its work on rules farmers may use to grow industrial hemp, a cousin of marijuana that does not have the drug's hallucinogenic properties. The sturdy, fibrous plant is used to make an assortment of products, ranging from paper, rope and lotions to car panels, carpet backing and animal bedding.
What The Left wants you to ignore is that hemp is a gateway fiber, one that quickly seduces America's youth into a sordid life of textile abuse. Shortly after experimenting with hemp fibers, your child will reject his Heartland cotton/poly blends and try to recapture that initial high, leading him into heavier and heavier materials like jute, linen, cashmere, and flax, until finally he's using -- God help us -- raffia. Unless America wakes up to the this silent killer waiting at Our Nation's borders, there's no telling how many macrame crafts we'll be forced to endure. Praise Him!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Fanning the flames of perversion

Whenever my sense of righteous indignation is in need of a quick pick-me-up, there's no better boost than Prayer Warrior Agape Press' news briefs. Today's espresso shot of Outrage is the unholy -- though completely foreseeable -- alliance of Hollywood and child molestors:
A Christian media expert is taking Hollywood to task for the way it is treating an up-and-coming child actress. Dr. Ted Baehr, who monitors and reports on the cultural impact of the entertainment industry, blames Dakota Fanning's mother and the actress's agent for accepting a role for the young girl in the movie Hounddog in hopes it could bring her an Oscar -- even though the starring role portrays her as a sexually promiscuous child who is eventually raped. According to Baehr, a controversial "simulated" rape scene in the film, which premiers later this month, reportedly shows the girl's reaction during the violent act.
I was initially puzzled by the use of the scare quotes around simulated, but then it dawned on me: As noted pervert and anti-Semite Jimmy Carter once remarked, he had committed adultery in his heart many times, just by looking at a woman ... and probably still does. For liberals, watching depictions of child-rape and committing it themselves are indistinguishable, and both are equally dangerous for the children of America.

Miss Fanning is just a notch on The Left's belt, since their goal is nothing less than the cinematic deflowering of all Our Nation's children. Baehr continues:
"Pimps and pedophiles," says the culture analyst, are corrupting the innocence of the almost-13-year-old actress. "This movie sets a new low for Hollywood," he says, "which has been increasingly making sympathetic movies about pedophiles …." He cites such films as Little Children, Kinsey, and The Woodsman. "These politically correct moral degenerates tolerate sexual promiscuity, including pedophilia," he continues. "They show no concern for protecting the innocence of children, much less the sexual purity of teenagers and young adults." In his opinion, he adds, the movie appears to be "a clear case of child abuse." Baehr, who is president of the Christian Film & Television Commission and publisher of MovieGuide.org, is urging all movie and video distributors to reject the movie -- and report the filmmakers to legal authorities.
Quite honestly, I'm shocked that Baehr doesn't call for the arrest of anyone who so much as buys a ticket, thereby becoming complicit in the "simulated" violation of little Montana or whatever her name is in the theatre. At the very least, the names of people who view movies where adolescence is distorted into some sort of sexual awakening should go straight into a government database so that their neighbors can harrass them accordingly.

Hollywood's improper on-screen touching is but a coming attraction of the the orgiastic double feature they've got planned for your children. Remember, the best defenders of teen and pre-teen chastity is the party of values, so keep in mind that even a young actress' career choices are ammo for partisan sniping. Praise Him!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Putting the men in menopause

When I saw the headline to the recent Newsweek article on male menopause, I shed a tear for America's lost Manhood: The Left, through their feminizing regimen of Oprah, diet sodas, professional ice skating, and soy products, had finally succeeded with the sex-change operation they had been threatening to give Our Nation for years, and now America was going through The Change. Once I got around to actually reading it, grief rapidly gave way to Outrage. I have deduced that the party responsible for turning our Christian menfolk from swaggering, big-dicked he-men into the simpering old maids presented in the article is none other than -- brace yourself -- feminism. That's right, our "scientists" have spent so much time pandering to the Amazons researching female menopause that they have yet to determine a fail-safe way to ensure granddad can still get a boner:
In the average man, however, linking testosterone levels to symptoms and predicting which men with low levels will benefit from treatment is tricky, for several reasons. First, there are many conditions that can cause the symptoms associated with testosterone deficiency. Alcohol abuse, thyroid and other hormonal disorders, liver and kidney disease, heart failure and chronic lung disease can all cause similar symptoms. Depression can cause many of these symptoms in men with perfectly normal levels of testosterone.

Second, some testosterone in the blood is "active" and other testosterone is inactive. It is low levels of active testosterone that cause symptoms of testosterone deficiency, yet doctors typically test just for "total" testosterone. Third, testosterone levels vary widely among men of the same age, including the majority of men without symptoms of testosterone deficiency. Fourth, testosterone levels fluctuate over the course of the day and vary widely among healthy men. For all those reasons, it's difficult to determine what a "normal" level of testosterone is.

Perhaps most perplexing, men experience symptoms of testosterone deficiency at very different levels: some men with what appear to be low levels of active testosterone have no symptoms, and some men with what appear to be "normal" levels of active testosterone have symptoms that improve with testosterone therapy.
President Bush should raise the homeland security threat level to orange immediately, as this is nothing short of a national security emergency. If middle-aged men can't whack off to internet porn, the terrorists have won. Praise Him!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Just for the taste of it

The hypocrisy of The Left never ceases to astound me. Evidently nerve agents are good enough for their beloved revolutionary sweetheart, Saddam Hussein, but not for the people of New Jersey (h/t: wehateAmericablog):
DuPont Co. said Friday that it will not participate in the U.S. Army's plan to dispose of wastewater from the destruction of the deadly nerve agent VX.

The company had been working with the Army since 2003 on a plan to ship wastewater from neutralized VX nerve agent from a chemical weapons depot in Indiana to Deepwater, N.J., to be treated at DuPont's Chamber Works facility and then dumped in the Delaware River.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention had signed off on the idea, but environmentalists had fought it, and regulatory approval by New Jersey officials was uncertain, said Nick Fanandakis, DuPont vice president and general manager for chemical solutions.
What is this, the caliphate? When environmentalists deny American citizens their right to drink VX-flavored water, Freedom loses. Praise Him!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Nancy, get your gun

Over at Agape Press, Gary Bauer speaks to the sense of anomie that has overcome many of Our Nation's most persecuted Christians, including, I am sad to report, myself. Like many people, I was completely taken aback by my fellow "Americans" embrace of the Democrats' twin harlots, peace and prosperity, and have spent more than forty days wandering through a Spiritual wasteland, wondering what will become of America. And while it has been my fervent Prayer that Freedom would rise, Phoenix-like, and shoot all these liberal interlopers in the face, Brother Gary warns us that our retreat from the public square can have very dire consequences indeed for God's Kingdom here on earth. For example, if enough of us stop paying attention, The Left will try to ensure the solvency of their deeply unchristian social programs that take care of the sick and elderly:
... Bauer, who served as Ronald Reagan's chief domestic policy advisor, is also concerned the White House has signaled it is prepared to consider raising either social security or income taxes.

"Tantalizing [wtf?] or more heavily taxing people who have been successful, and then second of all an amnesty for illegal immigrants," says Bauer. "I think both of those ideas go against the conservative philosophy."

Not only do those ideas go against conservative philosophy, but Bauer expects conservatives to respond less than enthusiastically. "I think on both of those scores there's going to be a very negative reaction from the conservative grassroots," Bauer adds.

According to the American Values president, hiking social security taxes "would hit small-business owners and entrepreneurs the hardest, and [would] probably guarantee Hillary and Bill's return to the White House in 2008."
I was unaware of this plan to funnel payroll taxes into Bill & Hillary's election coffers, but nothing those two do surprises me anymore. To prevent this hellish scenario from coming to pass, clearly Sister Nancy Beth needs to bone up on her blogging game.

While the aged & elderly are easily enough bought off with government benefits as footsoldiers in Bill & Hillary's Osamafication campaign, what The Left really needs are younger, heartier recruits. That's where Our Nation's public schools come into play. My Prayer Warriors have been vigorously reporting the latest demonic plots to recruit our children over to the side of Evil:

As any patriot can tell you, Islezbofascism is the unholy alliance of Muslims, homosexuals, environmentalists, feminists, criminals, and other Democratic-leaning blocks who actively seek to ban Freedom and turn us all gay. We can now add Hindus to the list of conspirators, as they are using the black art of yoga to supplant Christianity as America's Official Religion, and on taxpayer dime, no less. Prayer Warrior Marsha West explains at RenewAmerica:
Government schools have embraced religious pluralism and are now offering yoga as a physical education course, even though yoga is a fundamental part of a religious system. Granted, most schools don't teach classical yoga; they incorporate snippets of it in their exercise program. Imagine the outrage if some brave soul were to attempt to introduce as part of the physical education course, "Fitness According to God," that aims to get children to adopt biblical principles for good mind/body health. The ACLU would file a lawsuit faster than the speed of a 56K modem.
This is hardly the only anti-Christian exercise program in effect today. The dirty little secret of public school physical education is that nearly every school in America has their children playing soccer, a sport that is wildly popular in the nations most brown-skinned illegal immigrants come from -- Outrageous!

Most Christians are familiar with Scholastic for pumping the rock
cocaine of children's books, Harry Potter, into Our Nation's schools at rock-bottom prices, thereby creating an epidemic of literacy that not even No Child Left Behind can hope to stamp out. It should come as no surprise to learn that their Junior Scholastic publication is running pro-jihadi propaganda that tries to lure America's youths into enrolling in radical Pakistani madrassas. WorldNetDaily explains:
The article talks about how female students follow "strict codes of behavior and dress," and it lists a "typical day" at the school, which runs from a 4:30 a.m. wakeup call to an 11 p.m. bedtime, and includes time for morning prayers, lessons from the Quran, classes on Islamic law, classes on memorization of the Quran, classes on Islamic history, midday prayers, afternoon prayers, evening prayers, late-evening prayers, and more lessons from the Quran.
Waking up at 4:30, memorizing the Quran, and praying around the clock: My God, our young people will be powerless to resist this sort of temptation!

I don't know how I missed this story late last month from Focus on the Family's Citizenlink, but it seems that the children of Massachusetts are being schooled in The Left's three r's of raunch, reprobation, and reassigned gender:
A teacher in a Newton, Mass., elementary school has come under fire from parents for telling her third-grade class that transgenderism is a viable lifestyle choice for some people.

The teacher’s comments came after one student stood up in class and said that "some men like to become women."

Parents have been understandably upset with the teacher and the school. Tom Mountain, a columnist with the Newton Tab, said the teacher’s statement had a harmful effect on the kids.

"Parents were remarking that (their children) had nightmares at night, they couldn’t sleep," he told Family News in Focus. "One little girl told her mother that she was scared that her little sister could turn into a boy. Other kids expressed to the parents that their daddies could become women and they still want to keep their daddies."
The term "nightmare" hardly does justice to the sort of Terrorism these children -- and myself -- have been subjected to. Shortly after learning that this teacher had abdicated her professional responsibility of instructing her tots to treat trannies with scorn, I woke up in a cold sweat; I had dreamt that Baby's First Sex-Change had joined Heather Has Two Mommies on the New York Times bestseller list and Jerry Brown was governor of California again. That I have no legal recourse for the suffering I've endured as a result of this incident points to the stranglehold that the GLBT lobby has on this country. Well, leftards, Sister Nancy Beth is back on the blogging beat and won't stand for it, or take it lying down, or contort myself into any other of those kinky non-missionary positions you're so fond of. Praise Him!